Bread: The Half-Baked Truth
More than 98 percent of convicted
felons are bread users.
Fully HALF of all children who
grow up in bread-consuming households score below average on
In the 18th century, when virtually all bread was baked in
the home, the average life expectancy
was less than 50 years; infant mortality rates were unacceptably
high; many women died in childbirth; and diseases such as typhoid,
yellow fever, and influenza ravaged whole nations.
Every piece of bread you eat brings you nearer
Bread is associated with all the major diseases of the body.
For example, nearly all sick people have eaten bread. The effects
are obviously cumulative.
99.9 percent of all people who die
from cancer have eaten bread.
99.7 percent of the people involved
in air and auto accidents ate bread within 6 months preceding
93.1 percent of juvenile delinquents
came from homes where bread is served frequently.
Evidence points to the long-term effects of bread eating:
Of all the people born since 1839 who later dined on bread,
there has been a 100% mortality rate.
Bread is made from a substance called "dough." It has been proven that as little
as a teaspoon of dough can be used to suffocate a lab rat. The
average American eats more bread than that in one day!
Primitive tribal societies that have no bread exhibit a low
incidence of cancer, Alzheimer's, Parkinson's disease, and osteoporosis.
Bread has been proven to be addictive.
Subjects deprived of bread and given only water to eat begged
for bread after as little as two days.
Bread is often a "gateway"
food item, leading the user to "harder" items
such as butter, jelly, peanut butter, and even cold cuts.
Bread has been proven to absorb water. Since the human body
is more than 80 percent water, it follows that eating bread
could lead to your body being taken over by this absorptive
food product, turning you into a soggy, gooey bread-pudding
Newborn babies can choke on bread.
Bread is baked at temperatures as high as 400 degrees
Fahrenheit! That kind of heat can kill an adult in less
than one minute.
Most bread eaters are utterly unable to distinguish between
significant scientific fact and meaningless statistical babbling.
In light of these frightening statistics,
we propose the following bread restrictions:
No sale of bread to minors.
A nationwide "Just Say No To Toast"
campaign complete celebrity TV spots and bumper stickers.
A 300 percent federal tax on
all bread to pay for all the societal ills we might associate
No animal or human images, nor any primary colors (which may
appeal to children) may be used to promote bread usage.
The establishment of "Bread-free"
zones around schools.
This little gem started out as an April fool joke. I borrowed it from http://wwww.mercola.com.
On the other hand, many people cannot tolerate wheat, and many have told me that their symptoms have decreased to half the previous levels when they gave up wheat - bread, cookies, other baked goods, and pasta for example. Give it a try!