Subject: The Ant and the Grasshopper
OLD VERSION OF THE STORY:
The Ant works hard performing his tasks all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The Grasshopper thinks he is a fool and laughs, dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the Ant is warm and well fed. The Grasshopper has no food or shelter so he dies out in the cold.
MORAL OF THE STORY: Work hard and be responsible for yourself. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
MODERN VERSION OF THE STORY:
The Ant works hard performing his task, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The Grasshopper thinks he is a fool and laughs, dances and plays the summer away. Come Winter, the shivering Grasshopper calls a Press Conference and demands to know why the Ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed, while others are cold and starving. CBS, NBC, and ABC show up to provide pictures of the shivering Grasshopper and to video him standing next to the Ant, who is sitting at his table filled with food. How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor Grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?
Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the Grasshopper, and everybody cries when they sing, "It's Not Easy Being Green".
Jessie Jackson stages a demonstration in front of the Ant's house where the TV stations film the group singing "We Shall Overcome".
Tom Daschle and Walter Mondale exclaim, in an interview, with Peter Jennings that the Ant has gotten rich off the back of the Grasshopper, and both call for an immediate tax hike on the Ant to make him pay his "fair share".
Finally, the EEOC drafts the "Economic Equity and Anti-Grasshopper Act", retroactive to the beginning of summer. The Ant is then fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, the Ant's home is confiscated by the government.
Hillary gets her old law firm to represent the Grasshopper in a defamation suit against the Ant, and the case is tried before a panel of federal judges that Bill appointed from a list of single parent welfare recipients. The Ant loses the case.
The story ends as we see the Grasshopper finishing up the last bits of the Ant's food, while the government's house he is in, "which just happens to be the Ant's old house", crumbles around him, because he doesn't maintain it.
The Ant has disappeared in the snow The Grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident, and the house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the once peaceful neighborhood.
MORAL OF THE STORY: Vote Republican